The Patagonia people gave me the option of writing my own bio, likely due to some of them not knowing what to say (Kelly who?), and others remembering that if you don’t have something nice to say, you shouldn’t say anything at all. This presented a dilemma that they left up to me: first or third person? If I’m writing it, naturally I should write in the first person. Otherwise, ya sound like a rapper or professional boxer, referring to yourself in the third-person: “Kelly Cordes is NOT short and lacking social graces and with a low IQ, he’s quite the opposite” (said Cordes). Actually, that was kind of fun. Here’s my bio:

“Kelly Cordes specializes in pouring margaritas and goofing off,” said Cordes. These attributes suit his longtime avoidance of full-time work, which fits nicely with the climbing lifestyle. He learned to climb late in life, age 25, while in grad school at the University of Montana. Once he started climbing, everything else, including any semblance of a respectable lifestyle, seemed to fall away. His first post-master’s degree job, at Taco Bell, lasted two weeks. Cordes felt that the company no longer had anything to offer him, and, soon after, he began his tenure at Pizza Hut. Here, the manager let him set his own schedule, so Cordes spent his days scratching up adventuresome climbs and falling deeper in love with the mountains, before charging into work and snarfing leftovers off of customers’ plates. A rewarding relationship, this job lasted two years.

He eventually taught college, then quit, then moved to Estes Park, Colorado, where he lived in a $65/month shack called “The Shack.” The Shack furthered his enjoyment of a simple lifestyle, as limited overhead equals maximal time outside. After being kindly asked to leave the shack (“I swear it wasn’t our fault,” he claims), he moved into a 7x11-foot structure known as the “Chicken Coop,” in a friend’s yard. There he stayed for another three years, before saving enough for a mortgage on his current 580-square-foot mansion. The years of frugality somehow led him to piece together a living as a freelance writer and as the senior editor of the American Alpine Journal. “The latter is a part-time, part-year job, which is perfect for Kelly,” Cordes says. Somewhat disappointingly, however, this erratic work schedule keeps him quite busy several months a year.

Such minimalism also plays out in his climbing, as he’s pursued lightweight alpine-style objectives, both rock and ice/mixed, from Alaska to Peru, and Patagonia to Pakistan. Highlights include his and Josh Wharton’s 2004 first ascent of the Azeem Ridge on Great Trango Tower (Pakistan), one of the biggest rock climbs in the world at 7,400 vertical feet. The pair went stupid light, “disaster style,” carrying a single 28-pound pack and staggered down from the summit after four and a half days. In 2006, they made a strong effort at the still unclimbed north ridge of Shingu Charpa, in similar style. Their “excellent failure” ended after 45 pitches, all free on lead, in three days, with retreat from the summit ice slopes a couple hundred feet below the top. In 2007, Kelly and Colin Haley made the long-sought first link-up of the Marsigny-Parkin and the upper West Face ice routes on Cerro Torre, one of the few ascents of the peak to gain the summit without using the Compressor Route’s bolt ladders. Their superlight climb took them 32 hours to the summit, part of an exhausting two-day round-trip from camp.

“Kelly love climbing,” says Cordes.

But when asked if he prefers climbing to margaritas and goofing off, he hesitated. A blank look washed over his face. “Yes,” he replied.

The interviewer pressed, and Cordes elaborated: “I believe that the three can co-exist in harmony – and if I’m right, then nothing can stop us all from living together as one!”

Then, as if to prove his point, he poured himself a marg and started surfing the web.